


The Elephant in the Room

by WhoCop



Category: Peter Darling - Austin Chant
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Trans Character, Internalized Transphobia, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-08-26 00:48:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16671586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoCop/pseuds/WhoCop
Summary: Peter and James have a much needed conversation





	The Elephant in the Room

Peter sat at the table they had spent a good portion of the day clearing off and deep cleaning. He kicked his legs back and forth trying to relieve his anxious energy. He appreciated the food that James had picked up from the village but with the elephant he could so clearly see in the room his stomach churned. Every time he made eye contact with James he hastily looked away and blushed, pretending to eat his meal. 

Finally, James had had enough with his odd behavior, “Peter.” His voice was stern yet not cold, only commanding, “What’s going on? Have you already wrecked havoc within my home?” He asked the last question as a joke, hoping it would cheer Peter up. “It would be hard to make it worse than the state it was in this morning. I’m sorry again about that. Is it this? Are you unhappy here?”

Peter’s head jerked up, “No! No. I love it here. I love it _with you _. I don’t mind the mess, really.” He made a cross over his heart, a remnant of when he was Prince of the lost boys and would enforce and make swears in a similar matter. He hoped James would continue speaking, ask him about dinner or the grounds or anything. Instead he just looked at him expectantly. Peter sighed, “We have to talk about it.”__

__James looked confused for a second, trying to figure out what it was exactly. “Well—we could try cleaning elsewhere tomorrow. And I was hoping we could share my bed tonight.”_ _

__Peter blushed, “I wasn’t exactly talking about the years of disuse.” James, again did not reply, only started at Peter. “I’m talking about me.”_ _

__“If you’d like you can stay in the guest room. I won’t be offended if you’re not ready—“_ _

__“No! I want to,” Peter said quietly, “I just—I’m not sure how _you _still want to.” He could feel his face heating. He wanted nothing more than to crawl under the table and hide. Never to be seen again.___ _

____James moved so that he was sitting directly next to Peter rather than across from him. He placed his hand on Peter’s back and asked softly, “Why would that be?”_ _ _ _

____Peter’s chest felt like it was a spring twisted so tight it was about to burst. He tried to will his tears down so he didn’t start sobbing in the middle of his explanation. “I-I’m not what you signed up for.”_ _ _ _

____“How so? I’m assuming the fae didn’t swap you for a replacement somewhere between Neverland and here,” James said. “If you are a replacement then yes I would be most disappointed. I do want the real Peter not some magical knock off.”_ _ _ _

____Peter, despite James’s best efforts didn’t smile. “I might as well be a knock off.” He pulled his legs to his chest and rested his chin on his knees. He pouted. “I know you like men.”_ _ _ _

____James nodded, “I do. And? I’m pretty sure you do as well, unless that whole event was something I dreamed in fevered delirium.”_ _ _ _

____“It wasn’t.” Peter tucked his chin into his knees so his reply was muffled._ _ _ _

____“Then I can’t possibly see the problem.”_ _ _ _

____Peter hated the way James was acting. He knew he was only being nice. He pitied Peter and was treating him delicately. Not wanting to hurt him with the truth. He didn’t want to be with a freak. “James.” It came out as a plea, “I’m a freak girl. You don’t want me. I understand. I wouldn’t want me either.”_ _ _ _

____“Peter. If you did lie to everyone in Neverland, including the Fairy Queen and are actually a girl then I am impressed but that would add some _difficulties _to our relationship,” he tilted Peter’s chin up so they made eye contact, “But, if you really are Peter, prince of the lost boys and king of Neverland then I really don’t care what’s under your tunic and trousers. As long as it’s you in there.” He touched the place above Peter’s heart.___ _ _ _

______Peter, rather than being relieved only became more frustrated. “How are you okay with this? Because I’m not even okay with it. Tell me I’m a freak, tell me you don’t understand, ask questions dammit! You’re too okay with this for it to be real.” He had tried to tell people before, but none of them had ever seen him as a boy, but they still had their questions and prejudices. He wanted James’s full honesty._ _ _ _ _ _

______James sighed, “You really are always this dramatic.” He kissed his cheek, “If I have questions I figured I would ask them in due time. Not during dinner as our first night together. Anyway I didn’t feel it to be any of my business. If you want me to know something you’re free to tell me, otherwise I don’t need to know it. Unless you’re still interested in, you know, _sleeping together _, then I might need a little more help from you.”___ _ _ _ _ _

________Peter shrugged, still not fully satisfied with James’s answer. He had prepared for the worst. Expected it even. Expected James to first look at him and be disgusted. Expected rejection. In the boat on the way back from Neverland he hadn’t even thought about what would happen if James did reject him. Where he would have gone, what he would have done. But he also wasn’t expecting acceptance. He supposed he hoped for begrudging tolerance, or apathy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’ve known for as long as I can remember,” he said it softly, almost hoping James wouldn’t hear him. When James squeezed his shoulder to signal him to continue he did, “When I was young I made up this boy, a boy who could never grow up and lived in a magical land. He could fly and do whatever he wanted, no grown ups to stop him. His name was Peter Pan. Instead of growing out of the game like everyone expected I just became more passionate about it. I was fiercely protective of the role. Then Tink—“ he paused for a breath, still not over his fairy’s death, “She took me to that world. I had never known it was possible for me to actually be a boy until then. After that I never wanted anything more.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________James kissed his temple, “Thank you for telling me. I’m sure it wasn’t easy.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Peter shook his head, willing himself not to cry, “I really am a man. I promise.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I never thought of you as anything else. You have my word as a gentleman.” James laughed quietly about the joke he had made._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Peter looked back up at him, “Thank you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
